Bad at Meditating? Try It My Way.
Many people have said to me over the years, “You should try meditation.” I made a couple attempts long ago, but it didn’t work for me. I was uncomfortable sitting cross legged for so long, and my thoughts wouldn’t stop. I gave up, thinking, “I guess I’m just bad at meditation.”
But during the pandemic, I tried again, and this time it worked. I developed a daily practice that makes a noticeable difference in my mental health.
This is me demonstrating perfect meditation technique:
LOL! No. That is me at a photo shoot.
This is what I really look like when I’m meditating. My husband shot this a few days ago.
So here’s what I do. After breakfast, I sit down on my comfy couch in my comfy PJs and find a comfy position. That rule about holding your spine upright? Forget it. I choose comfort.
After closing my eyes, instead of trying to silence my thoughts, I focus on sensing my body, especially my breath, observing each inhale and exhale as if it were completely unique. I pay attention to my lungs and observe them non-judgmentally. What’s happening in there? Does this breath have a texture? A color? A shape?
I like to count my breaths while sensing them. It gives my brain something to do other than race. I aim for 100 breaths, which takes about 10-12 minutes. Some days I only make it to 50 before my impulse to “do something” takes over. Fine. There is no failure. Even just sitting down, closing my eyes and sensing some breaths counts as a success, because I consciously chose to practice.
And my thoughts eventually fade away, right? Nope. They rage on. While sensing my breath, I am always aware of them, but consciously choose to stay with my breath. When I get caught up in them and forget to sense, I notice and gently re-direct attention to my breath. Sometimes I do reach that place where all there is, is breath. It is lovely. And rare.
That’s it. No rules, no fancy techniques, no correct posture, no mantras.
On days when I meditate, I feel calmer, clearer and more embodied all day. I make better decisions, do better work, sense more, enjoy more, and behave more lovingly towards myself and others. That is what I call mental health.
Are you “bad at meditation”? Try it my way. Get comfortable, close your eyes, sense each breath, and whenever you get distracted - which you will - return to sensing your breath. Count breaths if you like, or not.
After doing it a few times, tell me what you sense. I’d really like to know.
