What Does Self-Love Feel Like?

When I had very little self-love, criticism used to land inside my body like an internal bomb of shame. It would land in my heart and spread hotly from there throughout my torso, arms, head and face.

Now, with a lot more self-love thanks to NIA Technique, criticism lands outside of my body, like an object that has been placed before me on a table, for my consideration.

My body remains clear. No internal bomb. It’s just a mug, sitting on the table.

Example: a friend recently told me I had hurt their feelings. I noticed with surprise that I felt no bomb. I was able to look at their feedback and calmly acknowledge, yeah, I can see how they might have felt that way. I was able to craft a response consciously, like reaching out and calmly adjusting the object on the table.

It felt very different from my usual knee-jerk reaction to either grovel for forgiveness or defiantly resist. My nervous system stayed relaxed. My breathing didn’t change. My heart felt open and available. My mind was free to focus on the information I had received, and on my friend.

A different example: when I had very little self-love, I would often feel overwhelmed by the many things on my to-do list. The list felt like a list of threats to me, like if I don’t do these things, I am stupid or nothing or not worthy of love. My back would slump, my eyelids would lower, my face would sag and my upper body would emit a big gray sigh of futility. My mind would wish it was all in the past already.

Now, with more self-love and a higher sensory IQ thanks to NIA, when I feel those overwhelmed sensations, I can choose to say to myself, actually it will be awesome to do these things, because I wrote the list. These are things that I want to do, in order to meet personal or professional goals. It is very self-loving to meet goals that you have set for yourself. Even a small act can bring you one step closer to something you want. Viewing the list that way, as opportunities for fulfillment, makes my eyes brighten, my posture straighten, my lungs expand, my energy increase.

Do you have examples like this? What has self-love felt like to you, in your body, in your self-love journey? I’d love to hear about it.