Optimism, and Ways to Build It
Optimism is a major resilience-booster. When you believe in your heart that most things will turn out okay, it helps you be more resilient. Optimistic people are less stressed by negative events, and science has shown that they tend to have better mental and physical health.
I myself am pretty optimistic overall. I take a mostly positive outlook on things and increasingly feel like I really do have the skills and attributes needed to solve most of my problems. It's a great feeling, especially since I have not always been so confident.
No one is always optimistic. Occasionally when something negative occurs, I "catastrophize," imagining the worst possible outcomes. When I do that, the effects are predictable: my stress jacks way up, and I fail to see even obvious solutions. My occasional catastrophizing is an example of pessimism in a normally optimistic person. I can feel the difference.
A nice way to increase your optimism is by recognizing and owning your inner strengths.
Think about times when you have survived through adversity, or even thrived. What was it about you that helped you to make it through? Making a list of those things is a way of naming and recognizing them.
Now work on “owning” them. Make those positive attributes more central to your self-concept. Affirm to yourself regularly that you have them.
I also recommend actively savoring the experience of using them. By that I mean thinking about a strength that you have while you are actually using it; use it and reflect on it at the same time. Get absorbed in the felt experience of using it. Notice details about what it is like. Find language to describe it. It doesn’t matter if others wouldn’t understand. You understand. Actively savoring your strengths underscores them and makes them stronger.
I have also found it helpful to write and/or talk about my strengths with friends. It can be done without being braggy or conceited. I might ask my friend if they have a certain attribute that I privately know that I have, and invite them to share how they experience their version. Or maybe I might notice that they have it, compliment them on it, ask them how they do it, and compare notes with them about the ways we both experience it. Talking with others about our respective strengths can be very affirming (especially for extroverts like me).
You can even talk to yourself about them. Whether alone or with others, it is extremely helpful to say positive words out loud about our strengths. Our bodies hear everything we say about ourselves. To say out loud that you are good at X or you have a lot of Y is a surprisingly powerful way to recognize, own and thereby deepen your inner strengths.
A final suggestion towards building optimism: take my mindful dance fitness classes!
For the rest of October, my classes will be designed to help you identify and amplify your personal strengths. You’ll be surprised how powerful movement is as a self-development tool.
Every class is online so you can take from anywhere. Or, if you are near Occidental, CA, you can attend in person.
